Harsh Times in Umberstone Covert Songtext
von Half Man Half Biscuit

Geraldine, Geraldine
It′s just a selling plate
Nobody cares
Don't be so self-conscious
What became of the carefree you?
The one who would whistle to
Throbbing Gristle through
Harsh times in Umberstone Covert
Scoffing at the notion
Of a shoulder to cry on
The very thought
Of a rock to rely on
Astonishing, therefore
To look at you now
Bitter as the gall
Reaching for the mainland


I will mend you
And I will tend to you
Take it as read
With a needle and thread
When you′re falling apart at the seams
I will make that stitch in time

C-c-cavalcades, accolades
Giddy escapades
Do you recall?
Cheap mischief most Tuesdays
Emma Ollerhead avoids you still
Sour-faced she picked out the gherkins
Saw Christ in Dorothy Perkins
Oh Geraldine, we were so laissez-faire
Every other day was a non-sequitur
Hadron Collider, who's there?
Knock, knock

I'll repair you, be right there for you
At the end of the bed
Re-upholstering your head
When events are unfolding inside
I′m on hand to cast your mind


Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine
Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine
Your problems, I′ll treat them as mine
Tomorrow morning everything will be fine
Jean Greenhowe shall grant us a pardon
We'll eat Battenberg and stare at the garden

Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine
Geraldine, Geraldine, oh Geraldine
Geraldine, oh Geraldine