Morning Stand-Up Songtext
von Gavin Castleton

What kind of stand-up is this?
This junior dev is glitchin′
We don't need to hear you listing
Every last code commit and
Just list your blockers, bitch
Ain′t javascripting shit
From where I sit I see you cruising Something Awful (Maybe Reddit) Yeah right, I said it
The data comes out dirty
You got hacks workin hacks
Subverting the stack
Crack your whole code up like, "Hold up, we need to grow the team now"
Yeah right... I don't think dev is nearly green enough, somehow

Please bow, get plowed, stop coming at me #junkout 'bout
"There′s too much space in your designs"
Space creates the perception of value
You dehydrated Jake Gyllenhaal!
About face! Don′t bring this weakness to my cubical


I don't come to your desk and tell you to make your shit less scalable...
Don′t make every pivot personal
Yeah yeah, you worked at Oracle...
That shit was dress rehearsal!
Everything you know about UX is a theory
Now roll your yoga ball back to that weak-ass SQL query