And Then He Took Up Golf... Songtext
von Frank Crumit

And Then He Took Up Golf

He was a fine and handsome chap
Had the world right in his lap
His manners and his smile were simply charming
His clothes were always neat
Quite successful in the street
His life was so complete t′was quite alarming
And then he took up golf
Now he wanders round at night
Only waiting till it's light
So he can take his clubs and start to play
It costs him twenty every time
When he wins it′s just a dime
His bankroll's getting slimmer every day
He wears socks of baby blue
Shirts and ties of every hue
His colour scheme would make a bluebird scoff
Some friends should take a rifle for he is an awful eyeful
Ever since he took up golf


(Chuckles. Spoken 'And married men play golf too)

He was a wonderful family man
Doing all a husband can
To keep his wife and children awfully happy
He lived for them alone
Never left his own hearthstone
Just an all American pappy
And the he took up golluf (that is how he pronounces it)
And now his family wait
Cook is sore, the dinner′s late
And often now he doesn′t come at all
There is sulphur in the air
He's as cheerful as a bear
As they hear him kick a hatrack in the hall
There′s a wild look in his eyes
As he curses, groans or sighs
And throws a plate at Jenny, Bill or Rolf
In his sleep he pans his caddy
Oh, he's quite a different daddy
Ever since he took up golf


Now, when shadows start to creep
He comes home and wants to sleep
His family hardly see him anymore
His face is awfully dour
And his manners very sour
He keeps mumbling and grumbling about his score
His kids say now and then
Mama, here′s that man again
We knew him when he took his sweater of
There are brambles in his hair
And the sand is everywhere
Ever since he took up golf