The Ladies Who Lunch Songtext
von Don Byron

Here′s to the ladies who lunch--
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf.
Off to the gym,
Then to a fitting,
Claiming they're fat.
And looking grim,
′Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.


And here′s to the girls who play smart--
Aren′t they a gas?
Rushing to their classes
In optical art,
Wishing it would pass.
Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars,
A matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I′ll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls who play wife--
Aren′t they too much?
Keeping house but clutching
A copy of LIFE,
Just to keep in touch.
The ones who follow the rules,
And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they're fools.
Aren′t they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!


And here′s to the girls who just watch--
Aren′t they the best?
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
I′ll drink to that.

So here's to the girls on the go--
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you′ll see what they know:
Everybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch--
Everybody rise!
Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!