Chonny's Inferno Songtext
von Chonny Jash

Here lies Chonny
You can tell it′s him 'cause we put his name on the stone

Ran his showers red hot
Never too good for a potshot
Take the long way ′round to work
When the song got to the good part
He'd try to stay humble, but inevitably stumble
When the kind words rolled in
And his humility crumbled

Always dwell on what hurt him, lament and reassess
Bimonthly sink, depress in senseless, excess mental abscess
Tried to fight the demons that had caused him such stress
At about thirty-five, died of, well
Take a guess


Took his golden ascension
His family and friends incensed with fear and tension
Beyond their comprehension
"Catch ya later
I'm off to see the man upstairs
Let′s hope he ain′t been paying too much attention"

There was an angel at the entrance
Checking off a guest list
Chonny wasn't on it and was ushered to the exit
But let′s be frank
We did expect this

"Excuse me, sir
There must be something I could do ya for
Perhaps a favour, or a fiver, might open up those pearly doors
I'm awfully hard-working
There′s something I could do, I'm sure"
Pleading with the angels
While they pushed him through the door

"I said excuse me, sir
There must be something I could do ya for
Perhaps a favour, or a fiver, might open up those pearly doors
I′m awfully hard-working
There's something I could do, I'm sure"
Pleading with the angels
While they pushed him through the door


"All hope abandon, ye who enter in!"
Oh, don′t mind the sign, my friend
Its threat is weak and thin
We really only have it there to keep those squares upstairs at bay
We just started a hand of poker
You wanna play?

Uh-ha! Oh, right
You thought we′d have some chained up whores
Tangled, hanged up by extension cords
A hellfire spit-roast main course
With a side of fried landlords
Well, sorry for the fright
But you can't believe all you read in the paper
That hit piece you call ′The Bible'
Was written by the world′s greatest hater
(The world is run by evil people)

And yes, of course
The Devil's wrought true wrath upon the wicked scourge
A murderer or rapist best beware his violent force
But here, we mostly dwell in what the fools up there expel
An awfully diverse cast of critters resides down here in Hell

There was a demon cloaked in flames
Putting checks on an invite list
Beside a line of names had lied a guide of signed indictments
"The bright, white islands high would get the boring ones excited
But trust me, man
You wouldn′t like it"

"So do excuse me, sir
There must be something we could do ya for
Perhaps a snack or beverage, on the house, from Casa Inferno
There are plenty like-minded folk here
Perhaps they might entice you more"
Winking at the 'sinner' while they walked him through the door

"Excuse me, sir
There must be something we could do ya for
Perhaps a snack or beverage, on the house, from Casa Inferno
There are plenty like-minded folk here
Perhaps they might entice you more"
Winking at the ′sinner′ while they walked him through the door

You can run from your demons until you are exhausted
One day, you will have to stop and find out what they wanted
Keep running from your demons, till you are exhausted
You can run to those angels until you are exhausted
One day, you will have to stop and question what they wanted
Keep running to those angels, till you are exhausted

"So do excuse me, sir
There must be something we could do ya for
(I don't want to die) (Shut up you′re stupid, just kiss me)
Perhaps a snack or beverage, on the house, from Casa Inferno
(At war with every species, from Dinosaur to Seaweed)
There are plenty like-minded folk here!
Perhaps they might entice you more"
(Please don't let me die) (Shut up you′re stupid, just hold my friggin' hand)
Winking at the ′sinner' while they walked him through the door
(There will be no romance)

"Excuse me, sir
There must be something we could do ya for
(I don't want to die) (Shut up, you′re stupid, just kiss me)
Perhaps a snack or beverage, on the house, from Casa Inferno
(At war with every species. Veni, vidi, vici)
There are plenty like-minded folk here! Perhaps they might entice you more"
(Please don′t let me die) (Shut up you're stupid, just be my friggin′ man)
Winking at the 'sinner′ while they walked him through the door