Medical Marijuana Blues Songtext
von Cheech & Chong

Don′t need no dealer to keep you waiting round
Don't need no desperate late night road trips
To the seedy side of town
Don′t need no friend of a friend
Who's cousin knows a guy
Don't need to worry of Fred and Fanny before you can finally get high
Cause boy, if you don′t got that card
You won′t get very far
Cause you got that medical marijuana blues


You say Doctor
(Doctor)
Help me, please
(Doctor)
Got a headache
I'm tired and stressed out, and I can′t get back to sleep
You say Doctor
(Doctor)
Help me, please
(Doctor)
I'm hearing voices and I′m seeing things
And I need me a remedy
But boy, if you dont got that card
You won't get very far
Cause you got the medical marijuana blues


(Uh Blood, you got a doctor?)
Oh yeah, man, I got all kinds of doctors, man
(Oh yeah?)
You just need money, you get any doctor you want, dude
(W-whats a good doctor?)
I got Dr. Dre, you know Dr. Dre?
(Uh, Uhuh)
Yea, hehes got some good stuff, man
(Oh yeah)
He′ll make you feel good
(Ooh yeah, huh?)
And Dr. Phil?
(Dr. Phil?)
Yea, he'll get you all the pills you need
(Oh. What about that Dr. Conrad Murray?)
Oh doc, oh that guy? Oh man, stay away from that dude, man
He can't tell time worth a shit, man
(Oh, Okay)
No, I wouldn′t go near that dude
(Or wwas it Dr. Dre?) No
Yea, Dr. Dre, y-yea, anybody there man
(Y-yea)

You say Doctor
(Doctor)
Help me please
(Doctor)
I got acid reflex and my feets hurt
And it′s painful when I pee
You say Doctor
(Doctor)
Help me, Please
(Doctor)
I'm a bipolar impotent paranoid wreck
And my friends think I′m a freak
But boy, if you don't got that card
You won′t get very far
You got the medical marijuana blues

(Alright blood, let's go see that doctor then)
Uh, just a minute, man, hey
Hey, help me out here
I-I made up my own card yknow
I want you to tell me if it′s alright
Take a look at that, is that right?
(This you? yea- t-that's a white man on this card)
Yea, well, that's okay, I′m blind
I, they don′t know the difference
(It says Juan Lopez)

But boy, if you don't got that card
You won′t get very far
You got that medical marijuana blues