The Whole “Being Dead” Thing Songtext
von Caleb Hyles

Hey, folks! Begging your pardon
′Scuse me, sorry to barge in
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole

Y′know
Being dead thing

You're doomed, enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging
And if I see you unsubscribing
I'll kill you myself
The whole being dead thing


Death can get a person stressed
We should have carpe′d way more diems
Now we′re never gonna see 'em
I can show you what comes next
So don′t be freaked
Stay in your seats
I upload covers just like this each week
So just relax, you'll be fine
Drink whatever you can find
And take a breath

Welcome to a show about death

You′re
You're gonna be fine
On the other side
DIE! YOU′RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

I'll...
I′ll be your guide (Yeah!)
On the other side

Oh, and full disclosure: It′s a show about death

Everybody gets on fine here
Like Susan, Mark, and John here
The algorithm has no heart here
Just upload what you want
The whole being dead thing
You're just gonna love the folks here
Yeah, I know you′re woke, but you can take a joke here
And every cover I use, like, a ton of post here

The whole-
The whole being dead thing!


Nobody is bullet-proof
"I work out, I eat clean!"
Jesus, pass the Dramamine
Time to face the brutal truth
'Cause we′re all on a hitlist
Might not live 'till Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits
Hey, that just statistics
So take a little break here
Kinda like a wake here
The scenery is fake here
BUT THERE′S A WAY TO GAIN HERE

Welcome to a show about death

You're... you're gonna be fine
THANK YOU!
On the other side
HOW YOU DOIN′?
Not good?

I′ll... Hey! I'll be your guide
To the other side
Seriously, though, this is a show about

Death is taboo, but it′s hardly something new
There's nothing medical professionals can do
′Cept maybe just bill you

If you die during this cover
It's still gonna keep on playing

There′s no destiny or fate
Just a terrifying wait
Filled with people that you hate
And on a certain date, the universe kills you

That's the thing with life
No-one makes it out alive
Toss that body in the pit
"Gosh, it's awful, ain′t it tragic?"
"Blah, blah, Bible. Jesus magic."
When you′re dead, who gives a shit?
No pilates, no more yoga
"Namaste", you freakin' posers

From the cradle to cremation
Death just needs a little conversation
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae!!)
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae!)

So, how about we all make a start
On the whole being dead thing

God, I hope you′re ready for a show about death