The Dentist Songtext
von Bill Cosby

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. And then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook. Now the dentist pulls out a needle. This is to deaden the pain. So you open up.
Now a regular doctor giving you a shot will go --- --- ---. Dentists don′t do that. They go ---. And you're there (gasping).
Then they want to talk to you. "Do you ever do any fishing?"
"Uh-uh."
"Where do you usually go?"
"---------- with a in my mouth."
"Yes, I have been there many times myself."
Now he pulls the needle out, puts this thing in your mouth. This will suck up your face.
The dentist goes outside to laugh at you. And you sit, grown-up intelligent human being, arguing with this thing.
You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it is sliding off of your skull and your bottom lip is in your lap.
So the dentist comes back. You want to talk to him.
So you say, "I was wondering . . ."
"I beg your pardon."
"I said I was wondering about my face."
"I don′t understand."
"My face. My face. Do you see my face?"
"The what?"
"If I be ---- my face?"
"Your face?"
"Yes."


"What's the matter with it?"
"What's the matter with it? My face, my face is hanging down . . . do you see this? This is my bottom lip. It wasn′t like this when I came in here."
"Well, I will fix it."
"I hope so. Because if you put the needle in my mouth, my face went ----, my bottom lip is on the floor. So I can′t live with it like this now."
"I'll fix it."
"Ok."
Now he starts to drill. And you see and smell smoke coming out of your mouth.
So you say, "Wait a minute!"
"What′s the matter?"
"Smoke."
"What?"
Smoke, smoke, smoke. There is some smoke that is coming out of my mouth."
"I don't understand."
"Fire! Do you understand the fire? There is a fire in my mouth and the smoke is coming out because there is fire. And my face is hanging on the floor."
"The fire?"
"Yeah."
"Where?"
"Never mind, never mind."
Now he drills some more and you hear him make a mistake.
And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Ok. Rinse."
1 "Rinse? You ask me to rinse? I don′t have a bottom lip. How can I rinse?"
"Give it a try."
"Give it a try. Ok." Grab the cup. Pour the water. It runs all down.
"I hope that you are satisfied. I hope that you are satisfied. I put the water in my mouth. I told you that I can't rinse because I have no bottom lip. The water is all down on my leg. I hope that you are satisfied."
"Rinse again."
"You′ve gotta be kidding me."
So you pick it up, put a bit. Now you got to spit into this miniature toilet bowl.
You have no bottom lip, so you let it all fall out, say "thank God for gravity."
Now you want to sit back but you can't because hanging from your bottom lip is a long line and you can't get it off your bottom lip.
So you sit back. Now you have a line from the bowl to your bottom lip.
The dentist looks at it and says "Oh, look. A rainbow."