50 Cent Grapefruit Story Songtext
von Aziz Ansari

I used to uh, I used to kid Harris for being chubby.
He's actually not that chubby.
He had a growth spurt, he streched out.
He's fine.
But...
A few months ago I was actually worried that I was getting
chubby.
I saw a photo of me, on the internet, and in the comments, someone wrote;
WHOAH!
Who ate aziz ansari?
Whitch, hold on, doesn't make any sense.
If someone ate me they wouldn't assume my form
all of a sudden.
Why do you look like that g-?
I JUST ATE HIM!
But the person was right, I gained twelve pounds.
So i started exerciseing at the gym,
lost the whight right away.
But I didn't always like the stuff the people in the gym would tell me.
They would say things like, "


Hey, Aziz, 'you see this new study on yahoo's?
Says any food you eat after eleven '
O clock goes straight to your belly.
You should cut out those late night snacks." and I would always wanna say, "
Oh, really?
There's this other study I heard about, that says, uh, if you have a lot of alcohol in your system, and you eat a casidilla at three in the morning,
its delicious.
Yeah!
I did that study.
Last night.
Twice.
But I love food.
I love going out to eat at resturants and stuff.
It's really something I like a lot.
I was eating at one of my favorite resturants, in New York, not too long ago, and I was having dinner with a friend.
He's like, "
Aziz, what 'a you been up to?" and I said, "
SHUT UP!
50 Cent is sitting over there and I need to hear everything he says." and 50 Cent did not dissapoint.
50 Cent, the rapper, ordered a grapefruit soda.
The waiter brings him a grapefruit soda, and then 50 Cent said the greatest thing anyone could ever say, when they see a grapefruit soda.
He looks at the waiter and he goes,
Why isn't this purple?"
and it took me a few seconds, and then I realised,
OH MY GOD 50 CENT HAS NO IDEA WHAT A GRAPEFRUIT IS!
EXCUSE ME!
EVERYBODY IN THE RESTURANT, SHUT UP!
A WAITER IS ABOUT TO EXPLAIN TO A GROWN MAN WHAT A GRAPEFRUIT IS!
Do you realise how amazing this is?
There are parents that aren't there when thier children learns what a grapefruit is,
I AM THERE FOR THAT MOMENT IN RAPPER 50 CENT'
S LIFE!
This guy leaves the resturant, he's gonna know about a new fruit!
And the exchange was just glorious.
The waiter, struggling to explain the concept of a grapefruit to a man that just didn't get it.
He's like, "
No.
You don't understand, they're two different things.
Grape.
Grapefruit.
Grape.
Grapefruit."
I know grapes are fruits.
Why do you keep saying it like that?" "
No.
It's just one word, grapefruit, you know it's just one, its a different..." "
I get it, grape, fruit.
Orange, fruit.
Carrot, vegetable." "
No.
That's not it at all."
And it just blew my mind, how does 50 Cent not know what a grapefruit is?
This guy has been rich for soo loong.
He has to run into a grapefruit every now and then.
I do okay, I see grapefruits every fucking day!
What happens when he sees a grapefruit?
Is he just like, "
What's up with those oranges?
They're all red and shit!
And they're big as fuck!
dude they're looking at me wierd!
Shoot those-!