Romance Songtext
von Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend, wants me be a better person, so I can get a better girlfriend.
Whenever I meet a pretty girl, whenever I meet a pretty girl.
The first thing I look for is intelligence, because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine.
Couple of months ago I gave my girlfriend some fancy???.
She actually got mad at me...
Say Anthony I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me...
and I said well, if you wanna get technical, It was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Giving gifts is tough in any relationship I assume...
Like this past Christmas, I kept telling my girlfriend from months in advance, months.
Baby all I want from you this year is an X-Box, that's it.
Begginning and end of list, X-Box.
You know what she got me?


A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together.
Which was fine...
Because I got her an X-Box.
I should've got her a chocolate.
My girlfriend loves the chocolate.
She's always eating chocolate, she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction.
Like "
Keep me away from those chocolate bars Anthony!
I'm addicted to them!" And it is really annoying.
So I put her in a car, and took her downtown.
And I pointed out a crack addict and I said "
You see that honey?
Why can't you be that skinny?" You guys seem like nice people, I don't wanna sound like a jerk here, but that joke usually gets a standing ovation.