Vessel (Candle / Vessel / To Be Without) Songtext
von Amun

You see here, we fell into the sky that night
Me and you
I looked up and I could feel the heat of the distant stars grow nearer
And the cold of this world dissipate into faded memories of a lifetime forgotten
One which isn′t even real anymore
So I find myself wondering if what I remember is actually real, or a dream or something
Hell maybe it's just my imagination
But I remember it pretty clearly, how we got here
We were sitting by the window up in your room
Just loaded the gun with our bloody hands
And I can remember the sting of holding yours
It felt like a thousand needles ran up my wrist
And that it was only suspended in the vacuum, by nothing really
The chill from the open window went right through me, like I had left long before
Have you ever felt that before
That cold so empty you almost don′t feel it
You're ok with it. It's not cold
It′s nice
The blood on our wrists seemed to freeze in place, and then disappear
If it wasn′t for the red I would believe it had gone


It had never happened
I sat there holding you, and I can't remember why
The barrel chilled my teeth
It tasted like your mouth
Like smoke and powder, and blood
My eyes began to water and weep and I felt my body twitching
I didn′t cry
I didn't want to end my life
I didn′t want anything
I just had to leave
So I closed my eyes
I opened them when I felt that weightlessness
I saw myself floating above you slowly and wondered how I could stop it
I didn't know what happened
I couldn′t speak
I kept rising
Right out that window, and I could fly
I turned and left you there
At that moment I had seen everything
The landscapes of mountains and the skyline of the ocean
I felt nothing
An absence of presence
I ended up here, with you again, in little more than a blink
I don't know how long I spent there
Looking around
I don't remember what I was looking for and if I found it
I don′t remember if it was a dream or not
I don′t really remember where we are anymore
Where am I
Who are you

I exist within a false reality of slit wrists and dead reason
Each day crawls with the uncertainty of my continuing existence
I reach into the well of life with a starving soul
And grasp at the nothingness that awaits me
The false hope of relief rips through my chest
The fear collapses into contempt of everlasting ache

To what reasoning do I owe such misery
To what world must I travel that holds the truth

God has cast me into a chasm
Of collapsed perceptions and abandoned hope
For this is where I will sleep

The truth I seek is not here
I have no end to this here
The end of the barrel
Will be my vessel
It will carry me to truth
I will bring me truth

I am floating above oceans
Breathing above the sky
The tides recede, never to return
They carry me back
Where am I

There was this kid up on the podium, talking about him
Sharing some memories and playing his guitar
The sun was going down and we had all just lit our candles
There was that moment in the sky
Where it's still a little blue, but the sun had long since set
That feeling of inevitability that everyone had
There was nothing they could do to stop it, so we just sat there out with our little lights
The sun was setting
There was no stopping it
Soon our candles will burn out and we′ll be engulfed in that dread
So we did just that. we sang about him
Laughed over him
Cemented our eternal memory of every second he was here
The boy kept singing
He looked so alone up on that podium for a while, but something changed
I saw Ambryn that night
Sat up on the podium, next to that poor kid
Right as I saw him, the kid's voice died, and he began to cry