Hey Asshole Songtext
von 1000 Homo DJs

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, you! Hey you, yeah you, punk!
Yeah, yeah, that′s right, pull over now!
Pull over now, I said pull it over!
That's right, Let me see some ID
Let me see your license
What is this? What is this?
This shit′s expired
Alright, get the fuck out of the car now
What is that? Get a fucking hair-
What is that fucking long hair? Get a haircut!

Hey Joe, look at this guy! Can you see this?
He's a fuckin' sissy!
That′s right! Alright, up against the car now!
That′s right, spread 'em! I said spread ′em!
You punk, look at you, you fuckin' punk


What? rights? You wanna hear your rights? Fuck your rights!
Spread ′em!
Hey, you wanna spend the night in county, huh? Huh?
What do you think you are? Huh?
You think you're fuckin′ smart?
Why I oughta-
Hey what is that, punk?
What did you call me? You called me a pig?
I'll fucking throw you down so fast!
Fuck you! You punk, alright, fuck you!

Where'd you get this fuckin′ car anyway?
What is this, a Dodge?
Fuckin′ '69 Dodge? You′re driving-
And you got a license for this? You got plates?
Where's the plates on this thing?
I′ll bet you ain't got any insurance
You′re driving around with no insurance, aren't you?

Hey Joe, look at this guy
Alright, hey, what do you-
What's with your bitch? Get her out-
You, bitch, get out of the car now, too
Yeah, that′s right
Spread ′em!
Get a fucking haircut!
You got a job? What kind of job? Get a real job, punk!


Alright, freeze!
Stay right where you are, don't move a fuckin′ inch!
Don't move a muscle!
That′s right, alright, down on the floor
Get down, on your tummy
Spread 'em!

What is this? What do we got here?
A package, huh? You gotta package?
What is this little white package?
Oh, I see, yeah, you′re a fuckin' drug addict
You're a fuckin′ drug addict! Get a fuckin′ job!

What's with your chick? She′s fuckin'-
Oh, Jesus Christ, she′s got an earring in her nose!
Joe, look at this chick!
She's fuckin′ sick, my God!
I hope she don't fuckin' hang around with chicks
I don′t want my fuckin′ daughter-
Oh God, what a nightmare!

Quit your fuckin' whining, I don′t wanna hear about it!
Get in the back!
Look, I don't wanna hear about your fuckin′ rights!
You got one right
You got the right to get in the back seat of the car now!
You got it? What? What was that?
I didn't hear that, I didn′t fuckin' hear that!
Look, that's it, you′re going down now, that′s it
And what's with that fuckin′ earring? What are you, a fag?
You some kind of fuckin' sissy, huh?

That′s right, you're going down with me, and you too ma′am
Let's go, I'm sorry, I don′t wanna hear about it
I don′t wanna hear your cryin'
You′re with him, don't give me this
Let′s see the fuckin' shit in your pockets
Come on, you′re comin' with me now

Hey look, I can make this real easy
I can just beat the shit outta you and drop you off somewhere and fuck the report
Y'know I got three fuckin′ pages of reports in triplicate
So, fuck you
You give me any hard time, I′m going to fuck you up
You understand? You see this fuckin' gun right here?
I′ll drill you so full of holes you won't know what the fuck hit you

My God, you′re basically crying!
God dammit, she sounds like a fucking... blaugh!
Oh, she's annoying!
Oh my God, she sounds like fucking, uh, what the hell is that-
Joe, who is that bitch that whines all the time?
That, uh, Erma Bombeck or somebody?

Alright, open up the trunk, that′s right
What's with the bat?
What's with the bat in the back seat?
What, do you play baseball?
Oh, I see
Oh, you′re a gang-banger
Let me see your fuckin′ signs, alright, let me see your colors
You got colors? I got colors, right here
Fuckin' black and blue all over your face

What, are you representin′?
You wanna throw down, punk, huh?

You've got the right to remain silent
You have the right to an attorney
If you don′t have the money for an attorney
An attorney will be appointed for you
If you give up this right
Then everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law
Do you understand?
Oh, fuck you, I don't care if you understand
Get in the fuckin′ back seat now!
Spread 'em, punk!

Punk, I oughta give you a haircut right-
Hey Joe, get me my fuckin' razor blade
I′m cutting this kid′s hair now
Look at him
He looks like a fuckin' asshole
He′s a sissy!
He's a fuckin′ faggot!
He drives a Dodge!

Where are you from? Are you from the south side?
Ohhh, punk
You're a punk
I eat you for breakfast you little fuckin′ weasel!

Look at his fuckin' mug in this picture on his license
He looks so decrepit I can't believe it
He′s got a face only a mother could hate

Freeze, asshole!
Freeze, you fuckin′ son of a bitch!
Look, hey, I am fuckin' too fat to be chasing you around
I′ll fuckin' drill you full of holes, you punk!
Quit your fuckin′ running around!
Hey look, I'm going to kill you now!
Then I′ll throw you out in the back seat
Out in a back alley on the fucking south side
And no one will ever know what the fuck happened to you!
In the river with you, you punk!

That's right, you want to spend the night in county, huh?
Huh? You punk, huh? You got a job? Get a job!

Oh! What's this bag here? You got a bag of powder?
Why don′t you give me some and we′ll forget about it
That's right-
Yeah alright, so what?
Yeah, well, yeah what am I? A fuckin′ God?
I'm human too, y′know
You fuckin' punks, you think we′re all fuckin' the same
We're human! We got feelings!
You treat us like shit, you treat us like fuckin′ pigs!
If it wasn′t for us, you little punks would be beaten up by some fuckin' nazi somewhere!

(Oh, not those handcuffs
I want the fur-lined ones)
Hey, you like my boots?