En Garde, Society!
- Ever Get Drunk and...?, Edinburgh
- Joking and Lying, Jack in the Box, Extreme Bowling
- Truth or Dare, Dogs, Tube Steak Sex Guys
- Leaning in Chelsea, Born Gay, Gay Brother, Sneezing
- Movie, Deep Fried Stuffed Cheeseburger, What Kind of Animal?, Red Tide, Abortion
- The Right Stuff
- Girlfriend, American Airlines, Scientists
- Grandmother
- Revolve (The Complete New Testament in the Form of a Teen Magazine.)
- Swearing in Russian, Immigrating
- Letters to Nouns
- Horses Talking, Bathroom Door
- Coupons for the Audience
- Driving and Thinking
- The Goodnight Song / Hampshire College
God Is a Twelve Year Old Boy With Asperger's
- Hello and Several Jokes on Topics Ranging From Elevators to Goofing Around on a Whale Watch
- My Gas Got Shut Off - Boo!
- Vancouver, Detroit, and Bears!
- Divisive Online Banner Ads
- America Is Better Than Abortion
- The Questionable Polls of Russia Today
- I Found an iPod
- The Will to Whatevs Book Tour and an Amazing Boy With Asperger's
- Classmates.com
- Sex, Delta AirLIES, and Videotape: A Three-Part Radio Play Very Based on a True Story
- My Letter to Delta Airlines, Your Postcard to Delta Airlines
The Absurd Nightclub Comedy of Eugene Mirman
The Absurd Nightclub Comedy of Eugene Mirman
- Hello, Credit Card, Fidelity, Kids Say the Darndest Things
- Seattle, Steakhouse
- Florida
- Dog, Dreams Predict the Future, My Own Culture, Jewish
- Stalking, Bathroom
- Russian and Atari
- Teen Wolf, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights
- Million, Rent a Car, Terminator and Matrix, My Day
- I'm Nervous, Virginity, People Quoting Stuff They've Read, Not Funny to..., Being Followed
- Shapes for Sale
- Skatepunk, Ice Cream Store, Talking Dirty, Protestor on the Street, Terrible Prostitute, Nerd
- Cupid
- Fleet
- Special Ed, Ladies?, Grandmother, Religion
- Pot Ads
- Mirman
- Dub Plasma Edit - Face Joke Dance Party
- Fate Chose You
Eugene Mirman Short Films
Mehr Songtexte
- Russina and Atari
- I'm Nervous, Virginity, People Quoting Stuff They've Read, Not Funny To... ,being Followed
- [untitled]
- The Goodnight Song
- Dear District Attorney of Orleans County
- The Comedians of Comedy Tour (The Rookie)
- Q&A: Advice for the Audience
- My Time Warner Cable Newspaper Ad
- Political Chalk, Audition, Bicyclist and Pilates
- Messages on Napkins at Bars
- Sbarro Slogan and Anti-Abortion Billboard (Unrelated)
- I Bought Ads on Facebook!
- Open / Wake Up Call and Two Other Jokes
- Touring My Set, but First Two Other Jokes
- I Fell Down in London! Oh, and Bought a Phone!
- Tea Party Website
- I Met a Fan of the Earth
- A Guest Shopping at Marshalls
- Christian Mingle and My Childhood Notebook
- Jokes with a Theremin!
- We Were Just Talking About You
- The Moment A Well-Respected Author Wins The Guinness World Record
- Creamy Polenta Vs. Couscous
- Social Anxiety
- Throat, Arms & Hands
- Heart
- Spaceship Flying
- Horse
- Rabbi
- Horse III
- Thong McHacky-Sack
- Gwreeegwkqreu
- Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. And Mrs. President
- Cat Asking For Directions
- Flowers
- Fox News & MSNBC
- Mittens
- Wouowowoooouuuooo
- Flitchy Woo-Woo
- Amateur Anthropologist Makes Important Observation
- Contacting Celebrities On Facebook
- Horse Galloping
- Racist Stapler
- Rave
- Oh, My Wife Knows
- Sheep That Is Too Cute To Eat
- Fiddle-Doddle-Doodle-Deedle
- Please Take Off Your Shoes
- Cat
- Sub Pop Showcase At SxSW
- My Mouse Is Thankful For Your Mouse
- Blender
- Fox Embarrassed About His Boner
- Judy
- We Get Five Weeks' Vacation In Holland
- The Number 84 Explaining To The Number 52 That It Is Bigger But Not Better
- Acquaintance
- Neon Sign
- Jewish Person Saying "Oy Vey" Wrong
- Bill Clinton Is Still Quite Playful
- Doorbell
- Father 2
- LGBT Newsletter That Loves The Expendables Franchise
- Desk Covered In Hair
- Andrew
- Mr. sh*tface
- Postwar Japan Is Well-Understood By These Two
- That Was The Best FTP I Ever Uploaded
- Unnnnnn
- Celebrating My Promotion With My Wife And Some Dude
- The Turkish Parliament Has Approved This "Carrot-Man"
- Salad
- RomneyCare & ObamaCare
- Dr. Fart
- Miguel
- Tollbooth Attendant Is Open-Minded
- Mustachioed Man Has Patience, Diligence
- Don't Worry, This Man-Nanny Can Keep A Secret
- Ronald Reagan Taking A Shower
- The Wish-Maker Will See You Now
- Happy And Stuffed
- Spilled Milk That Found Out Its Son Died In A Car Accident
- Oxycodone
- Proper Dinner Conversation For The Educated Guest
- I Simply Keep Crying
- Hurricane
- Oops
- School Teacher Given Permission
- Scanning An Item
- Let's Put Our Intellectual Property Debate On Hold
- Steve
- That Was Worth It
- Pleasant Surprise At Sleepaway Camp
- Take A Ride On The Poon Schooner
- Can't Tell If This Is Sex Or Hockey
- Welcome To My Russian Audio Phrasebook
- Commonplace Subjects Within The Rich World of Academia
- Some Jokes That Have To Do With My Girlfriend, A Hotel In Boston, A Man In Provincetown, Twitter, Time Vs. Timing, A Neck Pillow
- Introduction, A Gift From Derrick
- Tree Falling In A Forest
- They Call Me The "You're Welcome Man"
- Guilty Catholics Have To Marry Each Other
- Cat Purring
- Trtrtrtrtrtrtrllllbbrrr
- Drug Lord Feels Pretty Bad
- Someone Is Calling
- Fire Hydrant That Doesn't Want Anyone To Know It's Anti-Semitic
- No Senator, I Already Have Two
- Cream Cheese
- Crackling Fire
- Preggo!
- Piano Cleaner
- Phone Is Ringing
- One Of Those People On The Street Who Tries To Get Money
- Debbie
- Magic Clown Using His Powers
- Jigsaw Puzzle
- Warm Handmade Boiled Bagels
- No Shirt, No Shoes - Service
- Standard Greeting 2
- Girlfriend, Khaleesi, Any Questions, Making A 'Zine
- Zippa-Dee-Doo-Da Zippa-Dee-Da
- Doin' The Flip-A-Doo
- Fourscore And Seven Years Of Happy-Happy
- A Gentleman Never Reveals His Source
- Penicillin Dong
- A Medically Reliable Introduction To Digital Drugs
- Turtle
- Tip Of A Billionaire's Penis
- Crammin' For The Jam Exam
- File Under "The Rolling Stones"
- Whoa... Lookout, Sir Beast-Weasel
- Poodle
- Thunder
- Auauauauauauau
- Goodnight, Buddy
- Casual Phrases For Parties, Pubs & Outings
- Telecommuting Cat
- Basement
- Mrs. Thunder/Mr. 80% Chance Of Rain
- Alarm Clock
- Kids Playing In The Park
- Two Pistols Sitting On A Shelf
- Thank You So, So Much Mandy Patinkin
- Chinese Woman Eating Lasagna
- Nano-Horse
- Conversational Russian In The Workplace
- Teapot Whistle
- Is The Love-Falcon Available For Birthdays?
- Marijuana
- Giraffe Sleeping
- Two Adults In A Small Space
- Peyote
- Army Buddies Going Big-Ball Bowling
- Sure, In There Is Fine
- I Voted For McCain In 2000
- Amaretto Sour
- Square Hole, Triangle Peg, Plus Another Square Hole
- Very Sleepy Man Delivers On Promise
- Should We Take The Bridge Or The Tunnel?
- Humpback Whale
- Gun Shot
- Colleague
- Vulnerable Oligarch Vulnerably Sexting
- Elevator At The Empire State Building
- Brand New Pillows Covered In Blood
- Two Lost Fireflies
- Group Of Wealthy Men
- Nothing Goes To Waste
- Steam Engine
- Abe Lincoln (Not That One) Is Ready For Fatherhood
- Huge Pile Of Dirty Shirts
- Chicken Prostitue Haggling
- Museum That Needs To Use The Bathroom
- Two College Kids Subtly Trying To Figure Out Which One Is More Disadvantaged
- Jam Session
- Alien Supermarket
- Just Two Doves At A Sweat Party
- Thank You Body, Simple Ways To Relax
- My Parents Won't Be Home For A Year And Five Days
- Police Siren In Europe
- VCR Ejecting A Tape
- Standard Greeting 5
- Living Helicopter Complaining
- Goofballs Having Silly Fun
- I Feel Like I've Known You For Hours
- Shortwave Radio
- Phil Donahue
- Mischievous Whoopsy-Daisy
- IT Department Doesn't Have A Care In The World
- Feeling For A Ripe Avocado
- Moons Over Your Hammy
- Tim
- F*Ckbuddy
- Telephone Calling A Toaster
- Sleepy Horse
- Shower Running
- Ding-Dong Doodly-Doo
- Birth Control Pills Telling A Little Boy Not To Eat Them
- Even Better Than An Associate Degree
- So This Is Medicaid?
- Dolph Lundgren At That Top Of His Game
- Please Be Quiet Or You'll Wake Up My Titties
- Police Siren
- Heroin
- Welcome To The Meditation, Please Get Comfortable
- The Time I Was Mugged In Mexico With Michael Stipe
- Round One Goes To Princess-Rump
- Boat
- Plutocrats Got Feelings Too
- People Being Diligent At An Ad Agency
- Spaceship Crashing
- Tummy, Doodle & Hoo-Hoo
- Lucy
- Long Fart
- Standard Greeting 7
- Never You Mind That
- Larry King Being Told Important Information
- Secretary Of State Is Not Off-Putting
- Sarah
- Not Happy With A Parking Ticket I Got In Portsmouth, NH
- Paintings I Made To Showcase At My Local Whole Foods
- Two Gigolos, One Office Manager
- Hero Returning From A Budweiser Commercial
- The Czech Republic
- Jihadist After Seeing About A Boy
- Police Siren In Belgium
- Martha Washington? Mmmm Hmmmm
- The Best Misunderstanding
- Elephant Having Trouble
- Celebrity Agreeing To Take A Selfie
- The Nerve Of Some People
- Powerful Senator
- No, Please... After You
- Confident Balls
- Wet Hot Americano
- Can't Find My Socks (Don't Want To)
- Duck
- Oh Peter, Thank You For The Yard Work
- The Official Webcam Of Yugoslavia
- Amicable Divorce
- I'm The Only Lady Who Could Pull Excalibur Outta There
- Safe Word
- Two Rascals Showing Off
- Man Walking In Boots
- Make Yourself At Home
- Polite Ways To Engage People of High Status
- Enter The F*Ckscape
- Now That's How A Puppy Should Sneeze
- Italian Person Eating a Pizza Pie
- Frying Pan Sizzle
- PTA Meeting Is Full Of Joy And Wonder
- Sure, You Can Use The Cat Door
- Fart III
- Handsome Old Man Has A Tummy Ache
- Apple Sauce Being Naughty
- Wolf
- Land-Grabber's Cousin Has Nice Upstairs
- Computer Downloading A File
- Airplane Flying
- Glad The Town Approved Your Slurping Permit
- You're A World-Class Pussy-Grifter
- Linda Ronstadt Chillaxing
- These Goat-Like People Know Their Bodies!
- Sebastian
- She Got A Real Candy Apple Poot-Hooter
- Traffic
- Thor's Hammer, Mjölnir
- .357 Magnum Inside A Watermelon
- I'm Glad We Waited Til Dusk
- Shark
- You Can Call Me Al (Not Song)
- Gimme Back My Bonnie Raitt CD... Actually, Keep It
- Baba Yaga Already Said She Was Sorry
- Guy Getting A Sweet Beej
- Hrrruuhrrrunnghruu
- Abortion Doctor Enjoying A Candy Bar
- Telephone Ringing
- The Kindness Of Strangers
- So Relieved We Found This Abandoned Schoolhouse
- Aaaaaaaa
- Whistle Ring
- Horace's Compromise
- Fur Coat Getting F*cked By A Bunch Of Cats
- Megan
- Grasshopper Asking A Dog A Question
- Pcp
- Machine Gun
- Have We Met?
- Just A Couple Of Lucky Special Ed Teachers
- A Billion Ants Writing A Complaint Letter
- TV Audience Clapping At Food
- David And Joshua Mutual Pleasure Exchange
- Thank You For Allowing Me Access To Your Oven
- I Thought I Was The Pancake Man
- More Crying
- A Textbook Case Of Level-12 Pleasure
- Dustpan
- Waffles
- Last Entry Is At Three, But You Can Stay Til Six(!)
- With Or Without You (Preferably With)
- Ask A Pastor
- Kim
- How Very Hemmingway Of You
- Zoo With Nothing To Lose
- Found Your Thing Using MapQuest
- A BuzzFeed List
- Tooth Fairy Is Quite Real
- Automatic Door Opening
- Friendship Bracelet
- Now My Back Hurts
- Video Game
- Leave Your Name
- Mentally Ill Farmer Is Finally Getting Help
- Feet & Legs
- A Real Whodunnit!
- Pretty Fun Night In Merrill C3 Short
- We're Registered At Bed, Bath & Behind
- Kate
- Dude, We're On The 5 O'Clock News
- Wild Turkey Bragging About His Mansion
- French Woman Enjoying A Danish
- Offal For Lunch, Woo-Hoo For Dinner
- Train
- Young Man Is An Excellent Executive Administrative Assistant
- Happiness Is A Warm Dong
- You're Like John Adams Times 1.5!
- Rainbow
- Group Of Businessmen Agreeing
- High School Hockey Team Seeing 20 Years Into The Future
- Have The Report On My Dick In The Morning
- Dog
- Babysitter Surprisingly Into Divorced Software Engineer
- Dentist Having Sex
- Wife Calling
- Tape Recorder Being Used Wrong
- Brassy, Bald And Ejaculating
- Toilet Flushing
- Cheese
- Operation Cooch-Toot
- Grand Wizard Can't Find A Sock
- The Last Rock Star
- It Took Another Man's Wife To Make This Boy A Man
- Too Soon?
- French Kids Picking Apples
- Two-State Solution With Benefits
- Blizzard
- Pasta Nasty
- Boy Who Loves Hammocks
- Lsd
- You Are As Powerful And Detail-Oriented As A River, Sir
- Paul Can Really Push Good
- I Am A Doctor
- Old Man
- I Went To School In The Boston Area
- Caldor Binge Drinking
- Turtle II
- Standard Greeting 3
- Person From 1870 Who Was Frozen In Time
- What Gusto!
- Love
- Powerful Senator II
- Doo-Doo-Pa-Dee-Da-Da-Pada
- Husband Calling
- Bryan
- The Sizzle-Maker
- Still Crying
- Yellow Line That Divides Roads
- I'm A Dirty Little Foreign Advisor
- College Is Exactly What I Was Hoping It'd Be
- Two Sheep Arguing
- Www.Thepleasuresallmine.Gov
- Bridesmaid Cutting Loose At The Governor Bradford
- Slick motherf*cker
- Phone Call
- Crying
- Seriously Bro, You Just Made Me Goosh... Thanks
- Tacos
- Last Guy At A Rave
- Fire Truck
- Drum Circle
- Head Of Development Instructing Rugged Hiker
- It's Noon Somewhere
- A Swedish Couple Enjoying Hearty Vegetables
- Sentient Robot Going About His Daily Business
- Sneaking Around The Zoo
- Fun Times Inside A Grain Elevator
- Gender Roles On Their Way To A Football Game
- Puddle
- The Body
- My Skill Set Qualifies Me For This Position
- Community Bookstore Meet-Up Gone Good
- Hebrew Ray
- Stern
- Friend
- Doodle-Doodle Hoo-Hoo
- F*ckface Calling
- I Can't Answer The Phone
- Divorced MILF At A Used Record Store
- Fire Your Dentist!
- Sweaty Kid Crying About A Sandwich
- I Can't Answer The Phone (But I Want To)
- Standard Greeting 1
- Dawn
- Hello, Mr. c*nt
- Pffrrrtttt
- Little Girl Crying
- I'm The Autodidact Of Amour
- Businessman Has Ding-Dong Like Rocket Ship
- Fart
- Silly Billy Goat Got A Heroin Addiction
- The Jackal Never Misses!
- Soup Dumplings, Squish-Squish
- Waterfalls Shrimp Shrimp
- Male Toothpaste Being Sneaky
- Ice Cream Hearts Melting In The Love-Sun
- Fart Walrus
- Sally's In Charge
- I Don't Have The Hiccups Anymore
- Mdma
- The Shenanigans You Requested
- Hotel Guest Falling Asleep Frustrated
- Telephone Falling On The Ground
- Dishwasher Running
- Hotel Bed That Is Tired
- Baby Locked In A Dresser
- Screaming Man
- Snacks In Iraq
- The Healing Heart/Mother-In-Law
- Kaitlin
- Senior Year Hebrew School Mischief
- Just Another Guns N' Roses Brunch
- Portland, ME Is Cool... But Really Weird
- Kindhearted Fireman
- Cookies Being Arrested
- My Poon-Noodles Are Your Doon-Poodles
- Let's Get Your Mind Off Of The Dust Bowl
- Details
- Standard Greeting 4
- 1960's Street Fight
- Helicopter
- Priest
- 48 And Flexible
- Common Statements & Questions For Everyday Situations
- I Guess We'll Need A New Kitchen
- Amoxicillin
- Stay In My Guest Room As Long As You Want
- Rooting For Truffles, Miami Style
- Bow
- A Mime Betrayed, A Mime Forgiven
- Apple Cider Vinegar
- Motorcycle
- It's Like Apples And Oranges (F*cking)
- Too Many Pieces Of Paper
- Vrrrvvvvvvvvvvbbbrrr
- This Cheesecake Is Divine
- New Car Smell, Old Car Feel
- Vibrate Vibrate Vibrate
- Fighter Plane
- Germaphobe Does Not Mind
- Laser Gunfire
- Little Girl Teasing A Lamp
- Telescope Being Defensive
- Susan Sarandon Is Calling
- Summertime
- Head
- A LinkedIn Profile
- Confused Child
- Answer The Phone
- Don't Mind If I Do...
- Standard Greeting 6
- My Bar Mitzvah Was Ten Years Ago
- Screaming Woman Who Sounds Like A Man
- Anti-Vaxxer "Saxophone" Relaxer
- No Need To Explain Your Clean Aqueduct
- Oh, I Thought You Wanted Something Else, Glad It Worked Out
- Can't Come To Phone
- Meet Me By The Condom Machine
- Too Much Pudding, Not Enough Spoons
- Dirty Boulevard
- Waffle House Parking Lot Mix-Up
- Unnngnhhhnhnhnuua
- Crème Fresh Jackson
- Panda At A Hotel
- Don Draper Has The Flu
- Hraaaa! Hraavlaa!
- Robert
- Hyeuueehuuyehyeheyehyeyeeuu
- Bing-Bong Ding-Dong Playing With Boom-Boom Doom-Doom
- Introduction
- Misogynistic Maple Trees
- Two 20-Year-Olds Touching Their Winkies
- Civil Disobedience Met With Heartfelt Understanding
- Mother 2
- Pilates Are Invigorating
- Love Clean Up, Aisle One
- Daughter Reacting To Her Mother Telling Her There Are Two Kinds Of People In This World
- Luuuuleelaaalalou!!
- Gene Simmons Crying In A Pile Of sh*t
- Well
- Katie
- Going To Warp Speed
- I Wonder If This Was Allowed In Prussia?
- Hey!
- Dial Tone
- Intro To Ringtones
- It's Not A Slumber Party Without Thor
- Father Calling
- Rain
- Boner School
- Anna Kendrick Discovering An Underwater City
- I Marry A Couple From The Audience On Stage
- Mice Making Fried Rice
- Two Apples On A Rainy Sunday In The Fall
- Mr. Mamet Showing Off His Special Forces
- No Answer
- Please Don't Make This About Harold Pinter (Again)
- Shouts And Murmurs
- Someone Controlling Technology By Waving Their Hands
- Drinking Straight Out Of Lust's Milk Carton
- Jack-In-The-Box
- Kids Playing In The Park II
- Sophisticated?
- Gays In The Military
- Old Man's Penis
- LGBT Party Where People Are Eating Sushi
- Mother Calling
- It's Raining Dan
- Mizzenmast
- I Could Sure Use A Glass Of Water Now
- Naturalized Immigrant Doing A Job You Are Unqualified For
- Cat That Doesn't Mind
- Useful Phrases While On Vacation In Russia
- Pile Of Sneakers
- So Glad That Was You Behind Me
- We Deserve A Michelin Star
- Intro To Outgoing Voicemail Messages
- 25 Rats Sleeping
- Matt
- Small Talk With Strangers & Acquaintances in Public Spaces
- Smell Of A Pear
- Spicy Fish
- Faxed To The Wrong Number
- Bandits Helping Around The House
- Nick
- Duck II
- Call Me Dr. Stardust
- Some Jokes That Touch Upon Religion, Guitar Center
- Ambient Noise In An Airplane
- Snowing
- Best Friends/Next Level
- 88% On Rotten Tomatoes
- Fishing
- Bellhop Who Got Stung
- Bear
- New Email
- Mature Cougar Is Addicted To Beej Pie
- An Astoundingly Honest And Fun Salesman
- I'll Take A Look At The Dessert Menu
