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von Otto Waalkes

Recently my wife said: "You're fat as a pig. You've to fast."
The doctor wasn't nice too. He said, I was far too fat. I should fast.
It's no longer the case with cholesterol, the liver becomes hard, the heart attack's imminent. If you don't go on a diet, everything's too late soon.
You've fast.


Now everything's messed up, no more pork knuckle with cabbage, I've to fast.
Just no lard, no cutlet, not even crepe suzette, I've to fast.
Nothing with deer, nothing with stag, not even black forest gâteau, smoked eel and ragu.
It's all taboo.
Prague ham and meatball gets only my pug now.
I've to fast.
And now I'm very slim and I feel very sick.
I've to fast.
The paunch is gone,  but the fun too.
I've to fast.
Muesli and quark are the nail to the coffin.
I need a snack now, 30 eggs and bacon in fact like a housewife, but with no salad.
I've to fast.

Waiter!
Bring another veal shank for dessert, naturally with dumplings!
But only no salad to that.
I've to fast!
And a half or I fall over!