12. The Beer Olympics (2012) Songtext
von The Lancashire Hotpots

Now the Olympics come to these fair isles in 2012
But just how can we ensure that we take gold?
But then I had a thought
Make drinking beer an Olympic sport
And now let my masterplan unfold (because)

I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We′d all be world class athletes you and me
We'll drink till we′re unstable
And be top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB

Well, I could drink 10 pints sat in me vest
Trying to break me personal best
There'd even be medals for queuing at the KFC
From now on going out on the lash
Will all be funded by lottery cash
So I′m going to the bar for Team GB


So getting bladdered now becomes intensive training
And I′m exercising at the pub week in week out
And I've got, on a retainer,
Johnny Vegas as me personal trainer
And we′re drinking bitter, lager, cider ale and stout!

I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world class athletes you and me
We′ll drink till we're unstable
And be top of the medal table
I′m going to the bar for Team GB

Right let's check some commentary
Yes, it's gymnastics now
Let′s check on Bernard Thresher in the vault
I′m told he's no longer in the vault
He′s now in the lounge undertaking the synchronised drinking
Let's check the marks from the judges
5.4, 5.6, 5.9 percent alcohol
He′s done it!
Gold for Britain!


Well, I could drink 10 pints sat in me vest
Trying to break me personal best
There'd even be medals for queuing at the KFC
From now on going out on the lash
Will all be funded by lottery cash
So I′m going to the bar for Team GB

Now drinking lager, the Germans they'd be competition
And for vodka the Russians would put up a fight I guess
But drinking till you're chaotic
Will finally be patriotic
Has anyone got Seb Coe′s email address?

I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We′d all be world class athletes you and me
We'll drink till we′re unstable
And be top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB
Kriss Akabusi - Alright!