Cracka Songtext
von Mike Birbiglia

I wanted to be a rapper when i was a kid, it surprises people because I'm a cracker.
I'm a cracker ass, white bread, honkey.
That's right.
I like using the word, cracker a little in my act because a lot of black comics use the "
N" word, I like using the "
C" word like; Me and my Cracker friends were driving down the street in my Volvo stationwagon and I said, "hey Cracka pass the Sunchips," and he said, "
Not 'till we get to the picknick Cracker," and I say "
Cracka please." and he's like "
Cracka whaaaaaaat?" Well I said that at a show and a black guy comes up to me and he's like "
My Cracker." and I was like "
Actually you can't call me a cracker. Only we can call each other crackers.
You can say cracka, but not cracker." He was like, "it's ok i got white friends and they're cool with it, so I cooled down." I just like doing that voice like, "me and my cracker friends" that's like my white guy doing a black guy doing a white guy voice.
Because a lot of black comics have the one white guy voice like, "this is rediculous." like we all talk like british detectives.
And I don't know anyone who talks like that.
I feel bad for the one guy on earth who does talk like that, and he's watching those comics on T.
V.
and he's like, "
This is proposterous!
That doesn't sound like me at all!
Wait until I get my hands on that black fella, but first I'm gonna dance."