Absolute Pro Songtext
von Cloudfodder

Why do I feel like a labrat?
Pushing the pleasure-lever to death
I′m doom scrolling, just zoning
In my digital meth

My real life cries
Missing everyone that I meet
I'd trade in thirst-trap Snaps for real-life bodyheat

GPT laughs cause the humans are dead
And now I′m only worth as much as the prompts in my head
I should feel lucky that I'm walking in this century
I try to smile in denial of my ChatGPTSD

I'm an Absolute Pro
I′m an Absolute Pro now

There′s nothing quite like bad news to chase away the blues
To drain my energy and leave me less enthused
About life and confused on my moral attitudes
Sacrificing my emotions at the altar of views


Gimme scary headlines to waste away my time
To get me up in arms about the latest hate crime
I'm no longer feeling fine; Got a cortisol high
They undo the good work of all my SSRI′s
I'm dying

I′m an Absolute Pro
(Arianaggrandizing)
I'm an Absolute Pro now
(Alpha-dad grab bag)
Yeah, I′m an Absolute Pro
(Abraham Link-in-bio)
I'm an Absolute Pro now
(Nepo Baby BBQ)

My rizz is dead; feel like a fish out of water
All while my almond mom is bingeing bottomless enchiladas
My inner Leo is loose
Regaling Taylor Swift dupes
It's giving Corps-core, cottage-core
With Hailey B. juice


Crusty eyed dogs trip on fluoride stairs
With incognito mode karen
Getting that boyfriend air-in
All my squeaky clean girls been scrapping their build
I′m shexting customer service
But they just read me to filth because I′m

I'm an Absolute Pro
I′m an Absolute Pro now
(Live Laugh Lyme-Disease)
'Cause I′m an Absolute Pro
(Emoji-shaming at the Airport)
I'm an Absolute Pro now
(Reddit-It)
Yeah, I′m an Absolute Pro
(Here for a long-time, not a good time)
I'm an Absolute Pro now
(Red-Flags Magic Mountain)
And I'm an Absolute Pro
(Fire-breathing Drag′n′drop)
I'm an Absolute Pro now